The floors all slant
and the rooms are cramped
but I can walk completely naked
through my own cheap apartment walls
No perfect lawn
or suburban draw
but no more chasing after dreams
that just weren't mine, weren’t mine to start at all
I'm holding out for something
and maybe I don't know what it is
and I don't know what I thought would happen
but I don't think it was this
Chorus:
What scares me the most
is I'm not seventeen
so where are all those things I thought I'd know
just by getting here?
I'm so tired of trying
that I just want to climb up on my roof and scream
stomp my feet like no-one's watching
run and jump and hope to God
I'm landing on the edge of something
make a fist, clench my teeth and oh
breathe
Every night
I crack the blinds
and watch the windows and the people across the street
like tiny movie screens
and one by one
the real-live reruns
go through the same emotions till
the curtains close and actors sleep
It just seems kind of senseless
playing it out for eighty years
so why am I so damn scared to waste it
and nobody know that I was here?
Chorus:
What scares me the most
is I'm not twenty-three
so where are all those things I thought I’d know
just by getting here?
'cuz I'm so tired of trying
that I just want to climb up on my roof and scream
stomp my feet like no-one's watching
run and jump and hope to God I'm
landing on the edge of something
make a fist, clench my teeth and oh
breathe
I used to think that at a certain age I'd understand where I've been, where I'm going, and what the future will reveal. Now all I see is uncertainty. But, I've learned to regard that as a beautiful thing. When life doesn’t turn out like I imagine, it's just that I've been forcing a plan that wasn't meant to be. Now I can choose to live a life where nothing is planned out, at the risk of everything falling apart at any moment. I don't want my life to run out and nobody know that I was here. After all, this life might not be what I expected, but it's mine.